After the Party

The MP's First Birthday was Sunday. The rest of the Christian World thought it was Easter.
The trouble started two full weeks before the event. The child's mother called me to tell me that she had tension in her body and the only way it could be relieved was to talk to me about "some issues". Now, I've been in this game long enough to know the translation of that statement is: Mother, you are such a bitch and a failure that I can't cope with life.
You see the MP's birthday is an occasion when potentially all of her numerous and assorted grandparents will be thrown together and the younger generation does not have faith that we will all be on our best behavior. I'm surprised they were even willing to give the Kid a birthday party...it's so scary to have to have His Mother and Her Mother at the same place.
Question number one is who gets the guest room. Answer: hotels for everyone.
Crisis averted...
The day of the big gala, everyone arrived and performed beautifully. Hell, I hugged the Ex and Number 2 like they were a rescue party. I took along the requested beer and dips. I may be an unpredictable behavior risk, but I'm dependable for food and beverages.
You have to understand that when the Mother-in-Law is present, she is the center of the known universe. We are all at her son's home. She sits closest to the infant and generally directs all goings-on. This is when I know that my kid is really well brought up. She actually gets along with this woman. With my unpredictable sharp-tongued problem, it's a wonder, I haven't created a brawl.
The MP had an optimum birthday experience. She had cake in her hair and toys out the wazoo and was not even scared by 50 pointy hatted people singing "Happy Birthday". In fact, when we finished she clapped her little chubby hands!
A great night at the LaQuinta down the block, breakfast at Denny's, Easter at the nondenominational rock and roll church, a hasty ham dinner and we were home again by dark Sunday night.
Thank God it's over...